My huge bump

Even I was shocked to see this picture. I knew I was huge, but this was beyond my expectations. It was taken almost a week ago, so I think I'm even bigger. I really, really want this baby to come out and last night I thought it was going to happen. I woke up at 4:00 am with some pain (but not steady contractions) and thought, "this is it!" I couldn't get back to sleep, but now in the light of day I'm just huge and uncomfortable again.

Potty Time

Emma used the potty for the first time yesterday! We've been watching Elmo's Potty Time, which does seem to inspire her. And last night, she put her pee pee in the potty! Elmo would be so proud.

Go Go Emma

This is from last November, but it's still so cute. She still loves to dance.

Go Go Emma

This is from last November, but it's still so cute. She still loves to dance.

Billund Celebs

Lars, Emma and I are on the cover of the Billund telephone book. What are the chances when you live in a town with a population of 8,000 people?

Great Blog!

I just got an update email from Planned Parenthood with a link to a great blog, "I Am Emily X". It chronicles the life of a Planned Parenthood worker who is encountering protesters--anti-choice people who are calling their harassment "40 days for life."

It breaks my heart that in a country where the health care system is a travesty, these people feel that they have nothing better to do than persecute women who need affordable reproductive health care. This is one of the things that make me grateful to live in Denmark. Denmark is one of the most family focused countries in the world, certainly a hundred times more than the U.S., and there is never a conversation about a woman's right to choose in the news. It's not questioned that, of course, a woman has the right to choose her own path and to plan when she's ready for parenthood.

Good scan

I had a good scan yesterday. Everything looks great, including the placement of the placenta, so no c-section for me. The baby is quite big, she's 2.5 kilos already (over 5lbs) and I'm only 32 weeks! I'm preparing myself for another 5 kilo baby (between 10-11lbs).

Radio Silence

Everything is fine with the baby. And technically, I'm fine too. Blood pressure, blood sugar, weight, are all fine. But this has been a miserable pregnancy. My back is killing me. I have what is known in Denmark as bækkenløsning. I'm not even sure what it's called in the U.S. I did find an article on Babycenter about posterior pelvic pain, which sounds very much like what I'm experiencing. I'm currently on medical leave from work because of it.

The bottom line is that I feel bad every single day. It's the fatigue, headaches, back pain and sick stomach. I don't have morning sickness anymore, but my stomach hasn't been right since I had campylobacter for the entire month of August. Every visit to the doctor or the midwife has included a discussion on how I am 41...apparently I'm just old to be having a baby.

I have another scan today to check on the placenta. The 3D scan we had in August was amazing and we did see that it is a little girl.

Speaking of tests

Who made my Dæmon a friggin' mouse?! I was a wild cat, then a wolf and now a MOUSE?

I love this book

I found this on another blog and thought it was a really fun test to take. I really love that I'm a Barbara Kingsolver book, especially one with a character named Leah. I was literally just wondering where my copy of this book disappeared to yesterday and thinking about ordering it from Amazon.

You're The Poisonwood Bible!

by Barbara Kingsolver

Deeply rooted in a religious background, you have since become both
isolated and schizophrenic. You were naively sure that your actions would help people, but of course they were resistant to your message and ultimately disaster ensued. Since you can see so many sides of the same issue, you are both wise beyond your years and tied to worthless perspectives. If you were a type of waffle, it would be Belgian.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

The Golden Compass by Phillip Pullman is one of my favorite books and the movie coming out later this year looks amazing. The movie site is a gorgeous with a very fun "Meet Your Dæmon" application. Here's mine, Aradion...since it hasn't taken shape yet, anyone can comment on it. Take the test yourself, it's quite fun even if you aren't familiar with the books.

The price of smoking in Denmark

It seems Denmark has a problem with smoking... this country has one of the highest cancer mortality rates due to its high number of smokers according to the Copenhagen Post.

A whooping 24% of the population smokes. One doctor states, "It doesn't seem as if the warnings against smoking have gotten through to Danes." Well, duh.

I have a reputation for being the worst kind of ex-smoker amongst my co-workers and friends in Denmark--the reformed ex-smoker. But this country is obviously out of control with its attitudes on smoking. I walked past a cafe the other day with two parents nonchalenantly blowing smoke at their six month old baby. They have every right to smoke, and to pass on their second hand smoke to an innocent child. No wonder Denmark's mortality rate from cancer is by far the highest in western Europe.

It's also nice to know that my 50% in taxes goes to pay for people too stupid to read the warnings on that cheap pack of cigarettes they buy.

(Maybe) it's a girl!

I had my 18 week scan, although it turns out I'm 19 weeks... they've pushed up my due date to December 6, 2007. Everything looked good, with the exception of the placement of the placenta. At the moment, I have placenta previa. Not to worry yet, though. I'll go back for another scan in my 3rd trimester to see if it's moved, and there's a good chance that it will.

So, we're not 100% sure, but it looks like it's a girl! I'm sure we'll be able to tell at our 3-D scan on August 29th. Can't wait!

Sick and Tired (in the best way)

It's been quite awhile since my last blog, but I think I should be excused. You see, the one dose of hormones did the trick and I am just coming out of my first trimester! I'm expecting a little bundle of joy sometime around December 7th.

Everything looks good this time around. I've already had 4 scans, all of which were very positive news. The last one was to assess the risk of Down Syndrome. For my age (41) it's 1/50 -- scary. After the scan and bloodwork, it's been assessed at 1/1050. I'm so excited. Or I would be if I wasn't still extremely tired, still throwing up, feeling overworked at the job and at home. Emma is excited about becoming a big sister, but that doesn't mean she gives me a break. Lately I've been going to bed before she does.

The latest is an onset of allergies. The weather is absolutely beautiful here and I am a sneezing, watery eyed, nose blowing mess. I will be pleading with doctor on Tuesday to give me something so I can at least function. I'm a mess!

First Starbucks in Denmark!

The Copenhagen Post reports that Starbucks plans on opening a store in the Copenhagen airport! Can the Billund airport be far behind?! Probably, but an American girl can dream, can't she?

Back to the drawing board

I'm off to the fertility clinic again tomorrow morning. I'll probably start the hormones in the next couple of days. I will be so glad to stop thinking about getting pregnant again, which I will do one way or another. If I'm not pregnant by this summer, we've decided to stop... if I have another miscarriage, that's the last. So here's crossing my fingers (and toes and eyes and anything else that will cross) that this time will happen soon--and will take.

PBS Kids: Sesame Street

I want Sesame Street! Emma loves the Sesame Street "Do the Alphabet" DVD. She asks for it everyday, "Alphabet! TC (how she says TV)!" And she loves when I start singing the songs. But I really want her to see the TV show! I've got to see if any of my American friends (hint, hint) will tape for me--well, not tape it, I don't have a VCR. I need someone to record it on DVD for me... This is some of what makes me homesick for the states.

Solitaire Isn't Bad

This is an interesting tidbit from Techdirt on how Companies Starting To Realize That Playing Solitaire Isn't Always Bad For Productivity.

I am definitely starting to believe that breaks through the day can be very helpful, especially after a pretty miserably stressful December followed by a three week illness in January. Was I more susceptible to bronchitis because of my heightened stress level and lack of breaks? It's a possibly.

After my three weeks of trips to the doctor, antibiotics and coughing up a lung, I've realized that I have to find a way to handle stress much better. And not just work stress, but the stress that's inherent in raising a child. How does one find that work/home balance without constantly feeling guilty?

It's funny. I finally feel like an adult. It only took overwhelming stress, guilt and 41 years to get here.

Miscarriage Redux

I didn't post about this pregnancy. I think I will with the next one (yes, there will be a next one). I was more than a little spooked about it and had some vague superstitious idea that I didn't want to "jinx" it.

When I went for the fertility appointment, the doctor could tell I had just ovulated. We joked that I wouldn't need to take the hormones she had prescribed. Sure enough, I had a positive pregnancy test just before my 41st birthday. We kept this one a little quiet and only told the people we'd tell if something went wrong...

The Monday before we went to the U.S. for Christmas, I had a scan. The doctor felt something didn't look right so I had my HCG levels taken that day and then again on Wednesday. I was completely convinced that it would be bad news, but the doctor called and the numbers had almost doubled! (The numbers double every 48 hours in early pregnancy) We had another scan and she said things looked better. The little black area that was the beginning of a baby (or so we had hoped) was the right size. We left for a Merry Christmas with my family in Michigan.

All was fine until New Year's Eve. While at the zoo with my sister and her family, I started spotting. We went to the emergency room and got the bad news. Ten days after the last HCG reading, the number was nothing where it should be. The black area hadn't grown and there was no fetal pole, let alone a heartbeat (which at 7 weeks, we should have seen both). On Jan 2nd, I started bleeding and cramping in earnest. We got back to Denmark on Jan 4th and I called my doctor and went to the hospital. There it was confirmed, I was slowly aborting the pregnancy. We decided to move the process along and I had a D & C. I spent my first night back in Denmark at the hospital.

I'm a little numb at the moment. Especially after realizing that I've been keeping this blog for a year now (and trying for a second baby for longer than that). We're still committed to trying for another child, but there is most definitely a time limit.

Here's hoping the third time is the charm. If it's not, it will be the final straw...